Self-Awareness starting point for emotional intelligence.

Above the forecourt of the ancient temple of Apollo at Delphi was inscribed the maxim “Gnothi Seauton [ˈgnō-thē-ˌse-au̇-ˈtȯn]”: Know Thyself. In ancient times, many great leaders, including Socrates and Alexander the Great, visited the oracle. An important key to leadership is this ancient practice of self-knowledge and self-awareness. Unfortunately, suchlike self-knowledge and self-awareness are hard to come by, and to ‘know thyself’ (Delphic Oracle) was a tall order. 

People with strong self-awareness are neither overly critical nor unrealistically hopeful. Instead, they are honest with themselves and with others. People with a high degree of self-awareness recognise how their feelings affect them, other people, and their job performance. Self-awareness extends to a person’s understanding of their values and goals. Self-aware people know their goals and understand why they are on that road, direction and path; on the other hand, those who lack self-awareness take decisions that bring on inner turmoil & imbalance. 

But what does it mean to “know yourself”, and how can it help you?

Let’s determine the different elements of self-knowledge and self-awareness and their benefits:

1. You may better understand your core beliefs and appreciate the root of your thoughts.
2. You may gain more insight into your emotional reactions. CBT has shown us that our cognition directly influences our behaviour. We may sometimes not be aware of our emotional reaction, but it builds up.
3. You may better understand your goals, direction and path and why you want to achieve those goals.
4. You might benefit from a deeper understanding of our strengths and limitations. Getting swept away by overconfidence can leave us discouraged; from understanding & realistically assessing our abilities and weaknesses, you become more successful.
5. You will improve your decision-making abilities by understanding the sources of your worries and attractions that influence your choices.
6. There is value in discovering the differences and similarities between your beliefs and thought processes to others. Using contrasting & comparing and finding out what is unique & common, you will have a much better perspective of others.
7. By gaining self-awareness, you will inch closer to becoming an authentic leader.

How to improve your self-awareness? 

Keep a journal – Observing yourself, keeping a note of your thoughts and emotions, and recording it in a journal improves your self-awareness. Writing down your thoughts daily also moves you to a higher self-awareness level. 

Slow down – When you experience anger or other strong emotions, slow down to examine why. Remember, no matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it. Take a few deep breaths, and try to count to 10, and by not responding in the spur of the moment, you will have much better control over your emotions. By reflecting on and observing your strong emotions & experiences, you can learn a great about yourself.  

Mindfulness – allows us to be present and engaged or fully immersed in the current moment. It requires us to be aware of where we are, what we are doing, and how we feel. 

Why self-awareness is helpful

CBT has shown us there is a strong link & relationship among thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. Each of these three influences the remaining two, both positively and negatively. Cognitions occur on many layers of depth, and your core beliefs are at the centre.

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thought. With our thoughts, we make our world.”

Buddha

Observing, being in control, and aligning yourself with the purpose, values and beliefs will enhance your authenticity. Once you align your values & purpose with your decisions, you will find your work more meaningful and energising. Self-awareness enhances your ability to assess yourself realistically, gain candour, and speak accurately and openly about your emotions and their impact on your work. 

Self-aware people understand their limitations and strengths and often desire constructive criticism. By contrast, people with low self-awareness interpret the message that they need to improve as a threat or a sign of failure. You can identify self-aware by their level of self-confidence. They have a firm grasp of their capabilities and are less likely to set themselves up to fail.

 Some strategies to enhance Self-Awareness 

1. Be Present – Live in the moment, watch your thoughts, actions, emotions, and reactions in the body – be mindful.   
2. Develop Equanimity – Stop labelling events as Good or Bad, and bring calmness and composure, especially in a difficult situation.
3. Chain of thoughts – Observe the ripples of emotions and how they affect those around you
4. Physical reactions – Where do you feel your anger, sadness and other emotions physically in your body?
5. Itches and sensations – Know who and what pushes your buttons; are you in control? 
6. Notice and Observe – Keep a journal about your thoughts and emotions. 

“To be self-aware is to know yourself as you are.”

I consider self-awareness a somewhat abstract concept, a continuous experience, the journey of learning about yourself. There isn’t a finish line wherein one day you will gain enlightenment and a self-aware badge. Instead, it’s getting to know yourself inside and out, like peeling layers of the onion, becoming comfortable and accepting the discovery, i.e. true essence of yourself.